Modern Nomad: Weddings: Crete

August full moon stars in more Greek songs than Virgin Mary. Its bigger, brighter than any other full moon of the year… and its red. It’s the lover’s moon, and the moon that makes lonely souls more lonely.

What you have to do that night, is to swim in the moon’s path in the black sea. Ideally naked. Ideally not alone.
What did I do? I went to a wedding (yes another one…)!

The couple was not even aware of the magic moon they chose to light their wedding…. Caught in their mundane preparations they forgot all about it. As it seemed, for the best.

A wedding in Crete is not a simple business. It traditionally entails a pre-wedding, a celebration that starts the night before the wedding, with lots of meat and wine and tsikoudia. What is that? A drink for tough men only, of the Cretan kind. The rest of humans would blow fire after the second glass and forget even their mother’s name. Dancing, eating, drinking to the extreme is not the only expression of joy. At the peak of the feast the men, dressed in black, take out their illegal Kalashnikovs and shoot in the air (at least that is the idea). Reminders of such great feasts can be found in all the rural street signs, and occasionally on the papers and national news under the headline “Another tragedy at a Cretan wedding”. The survivors of the pre-wedding, or better those who can still stand on two feet after the banquet dance the bride to the church.

The real wedding thankfully was not like this. Apart from the rivers of tsikoudia we had to consume. It is regarded as very disrespectful to refuse the host’s offer… It’s bad enough that you are not indigenous.
First thing a Cretan man asks when they meet you is about your place of origin. If you are not Cretan you get the look of pity. In my misfortune I was lucky. Coming from Thessaloniki I received positive remarks: “Crete and Macedonia! We are brothers!” (We are talking Greek side of Macedonia here… put your swords back in the scabbards).
That is a long story, I should write another time dating back to the beginning of the 20th century. Not many Cretans, nor Macedonians remember it. But we just say so 'cause it feels nice.

The wedding included many of the generic Greek traditions (see previous post) but also some very Cretan touches. Six hundred kg of Lamb meat (the whole Cretan population of lambs went extinct that night), local wine made by the godfather of the nephew of the sister-in-law of the aunt of the bride’s father (did you follow that?), and worse of all… gamopilafo.

This is a dish. Wasn’t very popular among the guests, I have to say. It translates into “wedding rice”. Or worse “fucking rice” depending on your mood. The idea behind it is that it provides the guests with enough fat and calories to a)lubricate their stomachs b)not throw up all this alcohol c)have enough energy to keep dancing. But also to give the groom the energy to perform well at the first night (that is the purpose of the wedding after all! Legalise reproduction!)
Why is it living hell to eat? It is rice boiled in sheep fat. It is eaten a bit disguised under full fat (or greek style for the UK bread) yogurt and lemon juice. I let your imagination do the rest.

The delicious dinner was concluded with a lot of dancing. Three hours of traditional Cretan music and very well built Cretan men dancing in their black outfits was all the payback I needed. Cretan men are compared to cypress trees. So perfect and proud. Pleasure of the eye.

Who has time for full moons???